after all I'm only 18.

Have I told you that I’ve had my hair cut? Have I told you that my hair is now purple-ish? O well.. those are just some rhetorical questions cos I wanna say it proud and loud, my hair’s shorter and it’s purple-ish!!! =P Not so much different, so even if I attach a photo here, you most probably won’t see any difference in it cos it’s not that short and it’s purple only under bright lights. It did feel like a kick in the butt and I did go mental over the fact that my hair now has a color. And this is my first color (black doesn’t count =P), so give me a break. Beer for everyone!! Hehe.. So yea, it felt like a kick in the butt for one, two, three days only, and BAM I found nothing thrilling about it. Yep this is how fast I feel bored about something, indeed.

Speaking of feeling bored, marriage, divorce and relationship (stop asking “who the hell talks about marriage, divorce or relationship anyway?” , just shut up and keep reading =P), seems like they’ve been a paramount issue in life. Well, boredom is. In fact, boredom is malignant, rooting in every one of us, and leisurely killing us to bits till we’re drop dead. Ehem.. sorry for getting rather emotional. =P

I’m currently reading a book, a novel actually, a story wittily written that quite voices my long-stowed notion all this while, why do people get married just to be bored and sad after the three first years, or should I say just to finally admit when they hit 50 that they’re not happy for the last 25 years of their marriage and decide to divorce, or solely, why are people scared to death not to be married so they quickly leap to a YES for the proposal? I may sound pessimistic, but there’s some truth in it actually.

Well yes, people are afraid of being lonely when they’re mid-aged so they get married, but that doesn’t cover the fact that many of them feel even lonelier among their husband/wife and kids. Till then, does that not hurt them more, being trapped like that? Can you claim that you still own a life when you have to pretend to be happy just for the sake of the kids? Well, some people know well enough to love themselves that they decide to divorce eventually. Then again, I think that is what they call the cycle of life. Instead of looking at it as a grief like the way people have looked at it for the past hundred years, I prefer to look at it as a new start where every thing’s still exciting, rejuvenating for soul and far away from boredom. Meeting someone new, getting to know each other and falling in love again. Maybe someone gets divorced three times in his life, then I guess three times is what it takes to pull himself away from the dreary repetition where all the excitement is washed away and turned into a big screaming mess. Is it wrong to try to live life to the fullest? Then I guess, divorce is not that big a deal. But don’t get me wrong, it’s not like I gloat every time I hear someone’s getting divorced. I’m no ‘pro divorce’, I just don’t negate the idea.

Now the thing is, if people have kids and divorce, that surely affects the kids. You know, where the heart falls kerplunk when their parents sit them at the dining table before announcing their getting divorced. It sure is a life-long impact on the kids. But even without the divorce, I think the kids can also sense the not-very-happy-family aura all the way, which on some level makes them think twice before wanna have a family of their own bcos with what they’ve seen from their parents, it’s like rubbing their face in it. Divorce is just an authentication.

So, why does the unmarried status scare people stiff? Maybe, it’s bcos the world is full of hypocrites that judge those who are not married, and bcos we have the word ‘spinster’ in our dictionary that somehow sounds horrendous when either used as a pronoun or antecedent. I won’t deny that I’m scared too.

Anyway, this is the book. Marriageable by Riri Sardjono. I think she’s hilarious and a good thinker.

Here’s a glimpse of it..
“Kenapa, sih, gue jadi nggak normal cuma gara-gara gue belom kawin?!”
“Karena elo punya kantong rahim, Darling,” jawab Dina kalem. “Kantong rahim sama kayak susu Ultra. Mereka punya expired date.”
“Yeah,” sahutku sinis. “Sementara sperma kayak wine. Masih berlaku untuk jangka waktu yang lama.”
“Kenapa sih elo bisa kawin sama laki?!”
Dina tergelak mendengarnya. “Hormon, Darling! Kadang-kadang kerja hormon kayak telegram. Salah ketik waktu ngirim sinyal ke otak. Mestinya horny, dia ngetik cinta!”
See??

Haha.. loving it from cover to cover. Anyway, I agree with the idea that maybe what we need after all is someone who’s able to make us constantly laugh. Not necessarily love, not vehemence or whatsoever.

till then.