As I was talking to a friend the other day, she asked me why not think about dab
bling in journalism. It solely sounded way too remote from me at that very moment. Kinda unreachable. But after some time, it dawns on me that maybe I was mostly in fear and denial. Fear of having this kind of thing real to me. I mean, all this while I’ve just been writing for fun, and it has been fun. But what if it turns out that I’m not good at this? Simply put, I basically can’t stand watching myself prove that I suck at something I really like. Well how to say, it’s pretty much like having your idol staring at you in the face and tell you that you suck. Denial cos as much as I like journalism or whatever people call it, I ended up saying something ridiculous like: no, I don’t feel like writing under the pressure of having it as a job and that’s why I write blog.
Damn, it sounds even more ridiculous now that I’ve written it, no? =P But anyhow, now you know why.
Sometimes I think to myself ‘maybe not now, maybe next time’. Truth is, I’m vague with the thought myself. What do I even mean by next time? Next life? Really? Bottom truth is, I’m just scared to hop to it. I’ve ever wanted to be a hairstylist (yep, laugh all u want =P), and then a chef, and maybe a writer. But viewing my rather uptight family, it’s impossible. Not that I’m not allowed to, I’ve just never had a role model or a mentor among. If I were to be one of those, I’d most certainly be a pioneer, or a trailblazer, or some such. And that’s too cool, man.. =P
My point is, I’ve never once had a toe out the sidelines, nor my father (who is a doctor), nor my mother (who is a good housewife that understands medicine), or anyone near me. I tell you, it needs a hell lot more than determination. I need to be two-thirds daft and lucky for the rest one-third to blindly storm into plunging in the career in the first place. =P
Well, anyhow.. reality hits when more often than not, you do nothing but take what comes to your life. You end up being a hovering working-bee employed day and night or stuck in a job that pays the rents for which you deign to drag yourself to it nine to five, with regular grumble and regularly frustrated for getting drenched in the rain going to work at times.
That’s just the scenario that I’ll try my utmost not to live in. Nonetheless, maybe a little detour is required. Maybe that’s life: prioritize reality over a petty penchant. In the end, hopefully we’ve got the job that we hate to fund the penchant, but for the time being, trying hard not to lose the momentum and off your radar.
bling in journalism. It solely sounded way too remote from me at that very moment. Kinda unreachable. But after some time, it dawns on me that maybe I was mostly in fear and denial. Fear of having this kind of thing real to me. I mean, all this while I’ve just been writing for fun, and it has been fun. But what if it turns out that I’m not good at this? Simply put, I basically can’t stand watching myself prove that I suck at something I really like. Well how to say, it’s pretty much like having your idol staring at you in the face and tell you that you suck. Denial cos as much as I like journalism or whatever people call it, I ended up saying something ridiculous like: no, I don’t feel like writing under the pressure of having it as a job and that’s why I write blog.Damn, it sounds even more ridiculous now that I’ve written it, no? =P But anyhow, now you know why.
Sometimes I think to myself ‘maybe not now, maybe next time’. Truth is, I’m vague with the thought myself. What do I even mean by next time? Next life? Really? Bottom truth is, I’m just scared to hop to it. I’ve ever wanted to be a hairstylist (yep, laugh all u want =P), and then a chef, and maybe a writer. But viewing my rather uptight family, it’s impossible. Not that I’m not allowed to, I’ve just never had a role model or a mentor among. If I were to be one of those, I’d most certainly be a pioneer, or a trailblazer, or some such. And that’s too cool, man.. =P
My point is, I’ve never once had a toe out the sidelines, nor my father (who is a doctor), nor my mother (who is a good housewife that understands medicine), or anyone near me. I tell you, it needs a hell lot more than determination. I need to be two-thirds daft and lucky for the rest one-third to blindly storm into plunging in the career in the first place. =P
Well, anyhow.. reality hits when more often than not, you do nothing but take what comes to your life. You end up being a hovering working-bee employed day and night or stuck in a job that pays the rents for which you deign to drag yourself to it nine to five, with regular grumble and regularly frustrated for getting drenched in the rain going to work at times.
That’s just the scenario that I’ll try my utmost not to live in. Nonetheless, maybe a little detour is required. Maybe that’s life: prioritize reality over a petty penchant. In the end, hopefully we’ve got the job that we hate to fund the penchant, but for the time being, trying hard not to lose the momentum and off your radar.
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