I really don’t feel like myself today. It all happened early in the morning, starting with a weird dizziness and nausea that came out of nowhere, and suddenly I threw up and that’s when I realized…... I’m pregnant!
DUARRR!!!!!
Okay, okay.. I’m just a lil bit carried away by the books I was recently reading. It’s just that when I typed ‘it all happened early in the morning..’, I stupidly and subconsciously continued the sentence in my head with something as dramatic as ‘I’m pregnant!’. Hehehehe… well, must be the effect of too much soap opera. Hmm….. yes, must be it.
Anyway, I’m not pregnant. Seriously. =P
So, what I was trying to say is that I really don’t feel like myself today, more feel like being in a trance and it all happened early in the morning, starting with a weird desire of not wanting to go to work, unlike the usual not-very-enthusiastic-yet-quite-spirited urge to go to work. Clothes was something that vexed me most cos I had to change for like 3 times and still not feeling any satisfied though I’d worn something like that weeks ago, which by the way, I felt okay with. And not to mention the bad-hair day I was having, I’d started to feel kinda irritated even before going out of home.
And then at work, nothing happened actually. In fact, it was a lazy Monday where I got nothing to do except for several question fixings which I had it done in like the first half an hour. After that, I spent the time doing nothing but reading my latest bought book with occasional chats with the other staff. Well, I was mostly listening and following them laughing whenever they laughed, to be specific. (you know, biar diterima dalam pergaulan =P hehehe). Somehow, in a flash, I got the idea that one of them is apparently not the kind of person I’ve always used to think she is.
FYI, I do this all the time. I’m very used to forming an image of someone new, and start picturing him the way I think he is, which by the way, is often wrong. And in the end, I usually feel disappointed and lose interest. It’s my fault in the first place to think of someone in a certain way, but I cant keep it from carrying itself out. It’s kinda inborn u noe.. and I’m not very proud of it. More often than not, my judgment is wrong, and I tell you, the judgment itself isn’t even something negative. It’s even way too positive, like I expect them to be able to do or to be. Then I think I expect too high. Cutting to the chase, I’m not a gifted observer. I suck at observing people and their traits. And what’s even worse is that I actually have myself believing that they’re all good people. All good, all kind, nothing bad. Unlike my sister who’s naturally, observantly inclined and smart and not naïve. The kind that u cant, in million years, fake ur original nature in front, cos she’ll know just by observing u. Man, how cool is that. I feel like I should learn something from that psychic. (no offence,love u sis) Kekeke =P
Anyway, where was I? let’s get back to track. So, maybe I was a little disturbed by the fact that she’s capable of doing something I, on some level, dislike. But what the hell, I’m not sure that’s something worth disappointed at or as disturbing that it managed to quite gloomify (such word doesn’t exist, it’s just me) my day.
Haaahhhh (inhale deeply)…………..
phewwww (exhale deadly garlic breath)=P
Then I went home, for nothing but the sogoddamn blackout. I was getting more irritated by the minute. After hearing such long a babble and rehashing of I-don’t-even-know-what from my *******, I was like very fiery (naik pitam) and started throwing tantrums in still, a quite collected way. Maybe my face was as ugly as a pot ass, but I never even once in my whole life retorted my *******, no matter how annoying things become. What a record…. And then I quickly went upstair to chill cos I didn’t plan to ruin the record. O well, enuf said. I didn’t have the enthusiasm to even talk so I tried making every conversation short. This happened at work too.
Anyway, I’m not pregnant. Seriously. =P
So, what I was trying to say is that I really don’t feel like myself today, more feel like being in a trance and it all happened early in the morning, starting with a weird desire of not wanting to go to work, unlike the usual not-very-enthusiastic-yet-quite-spirited urge to go to work. Clothes was something that vexed me most cos I had to change for like 3 times and still not feeling any satisfied though I’d worn something like that weeks ago, which by the way, I felt okay with. And not to mention the bad-hair day I was having, I’d started to feel kinda irritated even before going out of home.
And then at work, nothing happened actually. In fact, it was a lazy Monday where I got nothing to do except for several question fixings which I had it done in like the first half an hour. After that, I spent the time doing nothing but reading my latest bought book with occasional chats with the other staff. Well, I was mostly listening and following them laughing whenever they laughed, to be specific. (you know, biar diterima dalam pergaulan =P hehehe). Somehow, in a flash, I got the idea that one of them is apparently not the kind of person I’ve always used to think she is.
FYI, I do this all the time. I’m very used to forming an image of someone new, and start picturing him the way I think he is, which by the way, is often wrong. And in the end, I usually feel disappointed and lose interest. It’s my fault in the first place to think of someone in a certain way, but I cant keep it from carrying itself out. It’s kinda inborn u noe.. and I’m not very proud of it. More often than not, my judgment is wrong, and I tell you, the judgment itself isn’t even something negative. It’s even way too positive, like I expect them to be able to do or to be. Then I think I expect too high. Cutting to the chase, I’m not a gifted observer. I suck at observing people and their traits. And what’s even worse is that I actually have myself believing that they’re all good people. All good, all kind, nothing bad. Unlike my sister who’s naturally, observantly inclined and smart and not naïve. The kind that u cant, in million years, fake ur original nature in front, cos she’ll know just by observing u. Man, how cool is that. I feel like I should learn something from that psychic. (no offence,love u sis) Kekeke =P
Anyway, where was I? let’s get back to track. So, maybe I was a little disturbed by the fact that she’s capable of doing something I, on some level, dislike. But what the hell, I’m not sure that’s something worth disappointed at or as disturbing that it managed to quite gloomify (such word doesn’t exist, it’s just me) my day.
Haaahhhh (inhale deeply)…………..
phewwww (exhale deadly garlic breath)=P
Then I went home, for nothing but the sogoddamn blackout. I was getting more irritated by the minute. After hearing such long a babble and rehashing of I-don’t-even-know-what from my *******, I was like very fiery (naik pitam) and started throwing tantrums in still, a quite collected way. Maybe my face was as ugly as a pot ass, but I never even once in my whole life retorted my *******, no matter how annoying things become. What a record…. And then I quickly went upstair to chill cos I didn’t plan to ruin the record. O well, enuf said. I didn’t have the enthusiasm to even talk so I tried making every conversation short. This happened at work too.
After lunch, I read my book which by the way, I planned on finishing tomorrow, but since 
I’d got nothing to do this afternoon, I finished it. So I’ve got nothing to do now, and tomorrow and the day after and after and after… Nice. Anyway the book is SHIT HAPPENS by Christian Simamora and Windy Ariestanty, the writers that I read from the depraved male goat. =P By the by, it’s a good book. Quite desperate though, but honest.
Anyway, good thing is that the steam today has gone sky high by the end of this very, very long entry. Not quite knowing why I got irritated for, I’m guessing I wouldn’t feel this way if it’s not for a lil bit of the clothes and the bad hair, a lil bit of the turned down expectation and a lil bit of the home drama.
Anyway, mikka’s off to USA yesterday. Well, have a good time there if u’re reading this. Hehe.. It’s just that I went home today and felt like having nothing to do simply cos I had no one to do with. Well… maybe, a lil bit of this too.
1 comments:
huahuahuahua...
looks like ur life was so so so in a mess today... that's part of our short life actually, i sometimes also feel that way esp. when u got nothing do to with. however, thanks for writing "mikka" in ur lovely wonderful blog... (hahaha, is it too much). you make me feel like i'm so important. hahaha.. anyway, take care my dear friend. we gonna see each other next time. keep in touch ho... keep on writing! be a journalist!!! hahaha... peace, man... bye
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