Take a look around and try to take in the whole picture around you. Mention just what you see, one at a time. Is it your 13 year old dusty frame with your parents and siblings’ photo in it? Is it your bf/gf whom you see now watching the TV on the couch beside you? Is it your friends sitting across you busy with their notebooks themselves? Or is it those strangers sitting at the next table in the same coffee-shop you’re in?
My question is, how do all those things affect your life? Do they mean nothing, are they important but you could give a heck sometimes or do they mean the world to you?
If your answer is between the last two choices, then welcome to the club. =P
Sometimes it’s your own family, your own flesh and blood, your friends, your best friends or whoever you’re supposed to be comfortable with, who give you the most uncomfortable feeling. More often than not, whatever you do feels like never enough cos their snide comments and opinions matter the most. You feel uncomfortable around them cos at the same time you’re doing something, you have the feeling that they’re watching and judging you, ready to impose you a how-dumb-you-are verdict or bombard you with some smear words . I tell you, it’s like running the gauntlet and what’s worse is that they refuse to know that you’re trying your best. They just seem to pick up the fault only and throw it in your face, not heeding how frustrating it is to be told that you’re something you try your ass off not to be.
Phew… there it goes. That’s it.
After contemplating, I assume that the reason why we’re so burdened by even their most trivial tiny comment is that we’ve been so biased that they’re always right. It’s even started since you’re a little kid where you so looked up to your little brother that when you asked him how did colorblind feel, you didn’t even doubt that the answer red was seen as blue, yellow as green and other colors as others might be wrong. You just utterly took that answer in. It happened 10 years ago, and it keeps on happening till now with the problems 10 times the complication. It feels like living a time warp where I’m in no position of discerning now, just like I was back then. The truth is that I don’t have the strength to decide that maybe I am right sometimes and maybe they’re wrong. And whenever I want to, the voice that says “what if you’re wrong? Cos I tell you, they’re always right” keeps on humming in the back of my mind. It’s funny how some people have such utter control over you.
So maybe, we have to learn to see more past the stereotype from now on. Try to believe in our own opinions no matter if they’re wrong at the end of the day, cos it doesn’t cover the fact that there’s also a chance of being right. We’ve got to start living instead of living up to them. Cos they are the way they are, and they’ll never stop or change. They are people with opinions who are sometimes harsh and always seemingly right. Just do what’s best for you and maybe that’s the most right. So if you have your hidden agenda, and only god knows what is, I think you need to take a time and hit the button pause to at least discern the truth of something you’re told.
It’s your life anyway. If you are something else, if you are living incognito, try and consider living for real. Take your own decision that isn’t based on their feedback. Not the ones in the photo you’re gazing at now, nor the ones beside you, or your friends across you or even those strangers next table who are about to pay their bill now, or any fanatics, homophobes, critics, backstabbers, cynics or whatever they’re called. So now if you’ll excuse me, my life is waiting.
My question is, how do all those things affect your life? Do they mean nothing, are they important but you could give a heck sometimes or do they mean the world to you?
If your answer is between the last two choices, then welcome to the club. =P
Sometimes it’s your own family, your own flesh and blood, your friends, your best friends or whoever you’re supposed to be comfortable with, who give you the most uncomfortable feeling. More often than not, whatever you do feels like never enough cos their snide comments and opinions matter the most. You feel uncomfortable around them cos at the same time you’re doing something, you have the feeling that they’re watching and judging you, ready to impose you a how-dumb-you-are verdict or bombard you with some smear words . I tell you, it’s like running the gauntlet and what’s worse is that they refuse to know that you’re trying your best. They just seem to pick up the fault only and throw it in your face, not heeding how frustrating it is to be told that you’re something you try your ass off not to be.
Phew… there it goes. That’s it.
After contemplating, I assume that the reason why we’re so burdened by even their most trivial tiny comment is that we’ve been so biased that they’re always right. It’s even started since you’re a little kid where you so looked up to your little brother that when you asked him how did colorblind feel, you didn’t even doubt that the answer red was seen as blue, yellow as green and other colors as others might be wrong. You just utterly took that answer in. It happened 10 years ago, and it keeps on happening till now with the problems 10 times the complication. It feels like living a time warp where I’m in no position of discerning now, just like I was back then. The truth is that I don’t have the strength to decide that maybe I am right sometimes and maybe they’re wrong. And whenever I want to, the voice that says “what if you’re wrong? Cos I tell you, they’re always right” keeps on humming in the back of my mind. It’s funny how some people have such utter control over you.
So maybe, we have to learn to see more past the stereotype from now on. Try to believe in our own opinions no matter if they’re wrong at the end of the day, cos it doesn’t cover the fact that there’s also a chance of being right. We’ve got to start living instead of living up to them. Cos they are the way they are, and they’ll never stop or change. They are people with opinions who are sometimes harsh and always seemingly right. Just do what’s best for you and maybe that’s the most right. So if you have your hidden agenda, and only god knows what is, I think you need to take a time and hit the button pause to at least discern the truth of something you’re told.
It’s your life anyway. If you are something else, if you are living incognito, try and consider living for real. Take your own decision that isn’t based on their feedback. Not the ones in the photo you’re gazing at now, nor the ones beside you, or your friends across you or even those strangers next table who are about to pay their bill now, or any fanatics, homophobes, critics, backstabbers, cynics or whatever they’re called. So now if you’ll excuse me, my life is waiting.
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