Only real when shared

I am competitive. It's in my blood. Well, at least it's rooting in my family. Okay, except for my mom. And if you think I am, I don't have a say. I think I am. But maybe not in a negative way. You know, envy, jealousy, all that stuff. I'm not one of those. But I am competitive. Only when I'm triggered. And I'm blaming it on my gene.

Well, what else?

I am now, and that's why I'm writing this. This is part of me trying not to be. Well, mainly because I don't see where I'm winning. But still, I'm competitive. Stupid, I know. But I do believe in the notion where things are only real when shared. So writing this surprisingly helps me to make my peace with me being competitive YET not winning. So, do you see where I am now? Rock bottom. I can either bow down, or bow out. Well, at least I'm no longer in denial. So just let the healing process begin.

And I'm kinda learning a new easy way out just recently: Blocking.
Is it just me or have you also realized all the glorious power and potential of blocking? Mind-blocking, to be specific. Well I tell you, it works a magic. You know, whenever you have all those ditches and bumps in life, like having to know some people that you are better off not knowing, but also knowing the fact that they somehow have to be there for a particular period of time in your life. And when that happens, there's no any other more right time to pull off a mind-block. So basically, you just have to deal with them, with no feelings, just smile, nod, and don't think of them any other time except when you have to, like when they're in front of you, or when someway somehow you have to look at them. Just block it. And if there's anything annoying coming from them, don't let it get to you. Just cut yourself loose. So I say, block it.

I no longer can afford to be competitive. It makes the world an impossible place to live in. Although it's in my gene. Believe me, if you still think that everyone is a good person, well you haven't tasted competitiveness. I've seen some more acute competitive people around me. They even live in their own world, caving in on itself. Clearly, I don't want to be one of those.
So yes, I'm less competitive by the end of this entry. See, writing this actually helps.
I'm at least a better person by the end of this quirky entry. =P

*poof*