Just because I’m on a school break, it doesn’t mean that my mind has to be on a break too, rite? I refuse to be with every fiber of my being, but truth is, it kind of is. I mean, being nonchalant to myself is harmless. But when it comes to other people, I feel like an awful person. I actually shrugged by the end of the conversation when a friend of mine was telling me about her problems in her most exasperated and desperate manner, simply cos I didn’t have anything in mind, more like I was too lazy to even think of anything to add to “oh yea” and “oh well”. It’s not like I’m being selfish, but this mind is one hell of a wrecked machine that used to function and think, but it just no longer does it anymore.
The other day, I just sat there and slowly nibbled my lunch without uttering a word when the two people sitting right beside and in front of me were quarrelling incessantly, and I just sat there quietly till they both got tired and joined the silence, and yet there was not even a tad altruistic streak coming out of me to lighten up the awkward situation and smooth things over. I just munch and munch and munch.
Then the other day, there was this guy that I know of, who bullied and mistreated another person that I also know of, and I just sat there feigning death while the jerk was ranting and the poor person was being bullied. I should have kicked his ass, but I didn’t.
What the hell is wrong with me? Should I just panic now?
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