It’s 8 in the morning n I really feel like writing the moment I wake up. Still in my pajamas, half-lying on my bed, craving for a toast, I’m typing on my laptop. It’s so spontaneous the way I like it.

Only the thing is, I don’t know what to write. Haha =P

Well, let’s see.. I went karaoke with my colleague yesterday afternoon, and it was fun. The thing was, they’re all very good, experts with nice voices, esp miss Syl who had the nicest voice ever! Wew.. anyway, I was literally smacked down considering the mediocre voice I had, not to mention how out of tune it sounded through a microphone. *sob* Anyway, I had the videos of everyone singing. Cool! And little angel was so cute that she could sleep soundly with the loud music and voices around. haha
Nice hanging-out, tho maybe I’ll just watch them sing next time. Enough of the embarrassment peeps.. enough.. =P

Anyways, talking with a heart-broken friend on the phone yesterday made me realize one thing: people hold on to their beliefs so tight they unconsciously turn tenacious and inflexible, which further made me think that aren’t we happier when we appear more flexible and resilient whenever something’s up? Just like the way we say ‘Ignorance is bliss’, why don’t we say ‘flexibility is bliss’? cos more often than not, I realized that when we hold on to something/ a belief religiously, many times we get double-crossed and hurt so bad we can’t get up and pull ourselves together. Ironically, the belief that we hold on to, is not even something visual. It’s what we build somewhere in our mindset which sometimes could be just a gimmick, and yet we devote so faithfully we’re smitten by it. But when something violates our belief, it hits us to just splinters. And then again, there are people who are so entrenched to their belief that they blame every one and every thing that goes against it. Well, they should some time stop and look at themselves when they’re forcing it, hear themselves when they’re bitching about it.

belief is a beautiful armor but makes for the heaviest sword
like punching underwater you never can hit who you're trying for
some need the exhibition and some have to know they tried
it's the chemical weapon for the war that's raging on inside
everyone believes from emptiness to everything
everyone believes and no one's going quietly

We're never gonna win the world, we're never gonna stop the war, we're never gonna beat this if belief is what we're fighting for.
-belief- john mayer

By the way, things feel so transient for me lately. Well, considering the expiry date that’s carved very clearly saying “Somewhere between April and March”, I feel like I’ve seen every thing with an end to it. Friends for example, this friend of mine is ready to leave next week, and some others will leave in December and January too. Also my job, which I will leave somewhere in March. Even days ago, without me realizing it, I told myself not to buy this Peter Pan cassette cos I can’t take it when I leave for there’ll be no cassette player. Shit.. why did I do that? I gotta live for real.. I refuse to keep on living like this. I’ll buy the damn cassette tomorrow! Yes I will! Cos cassettes are cheaper! Hoho.. Well seriously, it’s like every thing is on the path to an end and that I can even see it just when it will. But any how, it’s not good. It’s more like not living. More like waiting. And I gotta live, and do whatever shit I want.

cao