a little new outlook

I’ve been busy lately, going out almost every day after work, meeting friends, doing stuffs like hanging out or just talking together over a cup of coffee and a pancake which more or less, really preoccupied my mind from recalling whatever it is that used to be a major downcast subject that’d always got under my skin just a month ago. Things happened so quickly lately I had hard time reminiscing what I did, where I went or what I ate even yesterday. If this is what they call spending spare time and killing it, I bet mine’s fast and it’s completely dead. =P

Going home at at least 6, sometimes 7, and having dinner before taking bath and watching DVDs on my couch till 11 has been like a ritual every day over these past 3 weeks so I can tell, I’m not really bored. If anything, I might just get used to this semi charmed life. Thinking of it again, after I’m past disappointment and all, this merely feels just like taking a long leave from work, or from school, and in my case, from life. It’s like laying off for a while. And the best part is, I don’t really officially have a ‘big’ responsible to assume like having bad scores when we’re still in school or in a job that affects many people’s life like being a doctor or a fire fighter. Haha.. I mean, mine’s just rechecking, and what’s worst is that they just lose a double checker. =P I know it sounds awful to say that I actually enjoy not doing anything but relaxing all the time without any responsibilities and all, I mean, what kind of life is that, rite? but what the hey.. for the several months to come, I enjoy this. At least, ‘I have to’ is my defense. haha

Anyway, guess what kicking-ass habit I’ve been growing lately.. It’s eating spicy nasi padang on couch in front of your loud TV with just your hands! No spoon, no fork, just hands. Cos that’s the only decent way to really relish nasi padang. Dig in! haha.. Well I love my couch. It’s a lovely couch. =P

Anyways, as I was having this conversation the other day with a colleague who’s already in her last year of the university and working on her dissertation, I got to know that she is actually not into the thing that she’s majoring in now. I mean, she’s already been studying for three years and almost graduates and all, but the thing is, she kinda sees it as a regret. She believes that maybe she should have taken a period of time of vacuum after senior high graduation to properly think of what she really wants to study, instead of rushing into picking the most popular, the most not risky, or the most effortless major at the time. It’s like being chased down by the slim period of time between graduation and the commencing of the new academic year and ended up standing on the wrong path, being as far in as we’re ever be out when it’s too late to back out.

So, the point is, she’s kinda realized that going to the university is indeed a choice after seeing her friends not graduating but going straight to work instead, not enrolling in the university but in the institute of marriage instead. It’s a choice of life actually, and somehow it made me feel much better of my situation now. Don’t get me wrong, going to the uni is my choice of life indeed, and I believe hers too, what I mean is that being given some time like I am now is actually not that bad cos after all, I have more choices to choose from, and more time to think. And one thing’s for sure, it made me feel less left out. By left out I mean not going to school every day or doing assignments like everybody else does. So yea, that’s after all, the most soothing thing I’ve ever heard from someone. You know, giving advice by setting an example. Works best for me. It occurred to me that I don’t want to regret all my life bcos of a wrong decision out of slim period of time between graduation and the commencing of the new academic year. This thing is for life, and slim period of time between graduation and the commencing of the new academic year really sounds ridiculous for me. It didn’t four months ago, but it does now.

And now, I’m quite interested in this chef and culinary thing, so it’s giving me a whole new outlook and a new choice. So I’m applying to the school, and let’s see how it’s going then.

It’s been a long babbling. I can’t believe I could write this and not my 200-words-only essay which is due tomorrow. It has to be about my working plans for my future. It’s dull, and honestly how much of future can I plan anyway? Working is nowhere in sight, and my furthest seeing distance is wondering exactly which uni I will be enrolling 6 months from now, and it’s even blurry.

O well.. I have to finish the damn essay any how. I’ll make something up. Something that sounds optimistic and assertive enough for the admissions officers. Good lord..
This entry is 800 word long, so I just need to write something around fire-fighter long. =P

cao