mayday

Find it hard to write lately, particularly bcos of these insanely mundane days. What I do is trying hard to keep myself busy, which more or less seems to be a fruitless effort. Anyway, spent quite much time having lunch with mom lately. The thing that I never did, cos I always had lunch with my classmates back at school. Actually, not the only thing that I never did, cos all these going to work and slacking off all day thingy, I'd never done also. I think I'm far more fed up than any how I'd imagined it would be. arrrgggh..

Bought myself a cooking book 2 weeks ago, but haven't made a single dish till now. I know I have nothing to do, and actually have the time, but always when something comes up, I just prefer laying lazily on bed doing nothing. That explains why I'm about to have a pot belly. I seriously need to think of going back to the gym.

Been longing to hang with my school friends and just talk. I really need to see the people that I know, and by know, I particularly refer to those I've known for long. I am simply tired of adjusting and adapting to the new place, new people, new things, and rehashing my so called "history of life" to another couple of 5 different people every week. They just look very superficial sometimes, and I feel paralyzed and restrained every time I'm around them cos no matter how hard I try to get close to whatever they are, seems like I'm still distant, new, the outcast, or some such. What we talk about are these where-I-live-what-I-do-how-many-siblings-I-have things and I'm way fed up. Believe me, I've tried long enuf, and I'm solely sick of it.

Anyway, my friend told me that our school will start on April 16, and I think/assume I'm looking forward to it. Sometimes, when u want something so bad, you plain forget what it is that you want.